We’re doing a deep dive into the subject of asking for help. That’s a BIG question that comes up during our LIVE events all the time. That makes sense though. When people start to get clear on goals and dreams… they’re often struck with the realization they can’t do it alone. We all know that if we want to accomplish BIG things… we can’t fly solo. BUT… asking for help can be hard. So that’s why we’re going after this REALLY IMPORTANT SUBJECT! And… since it’s a part of our “Dream Together” series… we’re keeping it to just about 15 minutes. So let’s get to it!
RESOURCES:
RELATED DREAM THINK DO EPISODES:
JT Fox - Scoring Your Dream Job: https://mitchmatthews.com/jt-fox-scoring-dream-job
Mitch Matthews - 3 Keys to Meeting NEW People: www.mitchmatthews.com/198
Jamie Lieberman - HashTag Legal www.mitchmatthews.com/122
Erin Rollenhagen - Be Strong and Authentic: https://mitchmatthews.com/253
Sheri Salata - Finding LOVE for Life Again: https://mitchmatthews.com/312
EPISODE MINUTE BY MINUTE:
- 0:21 What to expect today
- 1:10 How do I ask for help?
- 2:20 Strategy One: Be ready for it to feel different
- 5:30 Strategy Two: Be open
- 6:17 Strategy Three: Don’t be selfish
- 9:05 Strategy Four: Be real
- 9:33 Strategy Five: Be kind
- 10:15 Strategy Six: Be honoring
- 13:47 Strategy Seven: Keep it simple
- 15:05 Strategy Eight: Be grateful
- 16:15 Strategy Nine: What did you hear and what will you do about it?
THE EPISODE - WORD FOR WORD:
All right. Hello and welcome Dream. Think. Doer to episode 318. That's right, this is another in our Dream Together Series. These are special episodes to get you specific strategies in 15 minutes or less. And this is all about helping those folks that are going after dreams, specifically, a little bit more specifically, those folks that are now using our Dream Together app.
It's been absolutely amazing to see this thing start to reach people around the world. Dream. Think. Doers and others are starting to use the app to dream together, but we've had questions come in, right? And I love this. I love that we're getting to respond to this, but what we wanted to do is go after some of the most common questions with this Dream Together Series. And in this particular episode, we're going to go after specific strategies to answer the question, "How do I ask for help?"
So whether you're using Dream Together or not, I'm guessing that if you're listening to this, you are Dream. Think. Doer. You are going after dreams. And here's the deal, something that I've learned, I'll bet it's something that you've learned. That when we go after dreams, when we pursue dreams, when we are trying to grow something, we eventually have to realize at some point, we're going to need some help. We can't do it on our own. Listen, I know you are a wildly talented, amazing individual, but if we're going to grow something that's bigger than ourselves, we have to ask for help, right?
In this episode, I'm going to get you some quick tips, thoughts, strategies, even dare I say, musings. All of which, each one of these, I could go probably 45 minutes to an hour on, but I'm going to try to get these tips strategies to you in two minutes or less, to get an all total of 15 minutes or less on this episode, we'll see how we do. But the whole goal is to get you what you need so that you can truly get out there and go after and achieve more of your dreams and goals. All right? So let's get after this.
NUMBER ONE: BE READY FOR IT TO FEEL DIFFERENT:
Be ready for it to feel different.
Listen, if you are a highly successful person, you're an achiever, there's a good chance that you know you need to ask for help, but it may not in fact be what is your norm, right? It might feel like there's some dissonance when you go to do it. You'll like this.
Recently I came across some information that may sound tangential, but I believe it relates. And that is we learn to communicate in two different ways. One is called formulaic language theory. You'll be able to amaze your friends at dinner parties with this.
Now formulaic language theory is something that our brain loves to do. It's where we start to use formulas for communicating. There's a good chance that when you walk into a store and somebody says, "Can I help you?" you say, "No, thank you. Just looking." That's formulaic. That's where our brain starts to use these patterns so that we don't have to think as much.
Now the challenge with formulaic language thinking or theory, is that this starts to actually have an impact on all of our relationships. Maybe you have a good friend. Maybe you are in a long-term relationship, maybe your spouse, you start to move into formulaic language theories. Maybe dinner starts to sound pretty similar every night. Maybe those phone calls start to sound pretty similar every day. That is formulaic language theory. Your brain is trying to get you to use patterns, so it doesn't have to think as much.
Now here's the thing. The opposite of that is something called generative language theory. Now it feels different, as you can imagine. But that is where we treat each individual as an individual, each conversation as something to discover, something to engage in. And it's one of those things that, to be perfectly honest, our brain can rail against a little bit, because it takes more energy. But at the same time, that's where the magic happens, isn't it?
If we treat a conversation with an individual, whether it's our spouse, a good friend, or even somebody at the store, sometimes we can uncover some of the most amazing conversations, right? I don't know about you, but I've had amazing conversations with people standing at a cash register, just because I was in the moment and stayed with it, right? That generative language theory.
Now, again, when you start to move into this, your brain rails against it, because it's going against the patterns that you've learned are efficient and all of those things, right? So in the same way that when we start to ask for help, our brain may in fact rail against that because it steps outside our norm. So just because it starts to feel uncomfortable, doesn't mean that it's wrong, right? It just means that it's new.
Okay, so formulaic language theory versus generative language theory. How about that for a little bit of science? Okay. That's a little heady, but the rest of these I think are going to go faster and a little bit smoother. But hopefully that helps to just help you to know that when we go to do this, it might feel a little weird, it might be a little new, but that doesn't mean it's wrong, okay?
Now that leads us to number two…
NUMBER TWO: BE OPEN
which is be open. And that's exactly what we've been talking about. Sometimes when we try something new, as in asking for help, it's going to feel different. And sometimes different feels wrong, right? Our brain is trying to process that as, "Wait, this feels different. This feels uncomfortable," right?
But as we start to grow, as we start to move forward, as we start to go after those things that are bigger than ourselves, we have to know we are growing. And a lot of growing means that we're going to experience new things. And a lot of new things means that it's going to feel different. And what we need to do is we need to be open to saying that different isn't bad, different is new, and I'm going to learn from that. Okay. So be open.
The next one might surprise you.
NUMBER THREE: DON’T BE SELFISH
Now here's the thing. I used to think that it was selfish to ask for help, right? "Oh gosh, I'm going to be a burden. That's just selfish to ask somebody for help." But over the years, as we've done Big Dream gatherings around the country, as I've worked with my coaching clients one-on-one, as I've thought about my own life, my own business. When I look back, I realized that it's not selfish to ask for help. It's selfish to not ask for help.
Because I believe that when you need help, that means you're kind of walking around with a puzzle piece. And you may not in fact know, if you've ever put a puzzle together, you know how satisfying it is. There's those moments where you've got that puzzle piece and you're like, "This doesn't fit anywhere," right? You're about ready to give up, but then you find that locking piece, that piece that fits. And you're like, "Oh," the satisfaction that comes, right? So often when we're walking around needing help, it's like we're walking around with a puzzle piece. And that also means that somebody else has a puzzle piece that needs to lock in with yours.
I'll give you an example of this. One of my businesses is we help coaches around the world; life coaches, success coaches. And what's amazing about this is that I could not do this alone. I have a business partner in this. His name is David Nadler. I should have him on the show. He's one of my great friends. He's an incredible strategist. He's amazing.
Now what's amazing about David is that his skill sets are wildly different than mine. He doesn't want to do what I do. I don't want to do what he does. But we, years ago, were two people walking around with puzzle pieces, right? And I actually almost wanted to hide my puzzle piece, because some of the things that I couldn't do, I was embarrassed about. But David at the same time, was walking around with his puzzle piece and realizing the things that he wanted to do, he was needing somebody else to partner with him. And he was a little embarrassed about that too.
But boy, boom, when our puzzle pieces connected, when we were able to experiment and grow and learn from each other and try things, some things went down in flames; I can tell you ugly, messy flames, but some things have hit. And it's allowed us to reach people around the world to sell coaching programs and training and all of those things to thousands of people around the world, and more importantly, connect with great people, help great people to make more impact, all of those things. We couldn't have done it. If we'd been hiding our puzzle pieces, we only did it because we let those puzzle pieces show brightly.
So don't be selfish. Don't hide your puzzle piece, right? Recognize you need some help, but realize that when you find that locking puzzle piece, you're going to be helping somebody else walk out their dreams, walk out their goals, right? So that's number three.
NUMBER FOUR: BE REAL
Be real. And what I mean by that is, you need to admit you need help.
As a recovering perfectionist… this is so hard. I know for me, it is so hard sometimes, because we want to feel like we got it all together. We want to feel like we're in control. We want to feel like we've got it covered, right? But we have to be real. We have to admit to ourselves and to others that we need help. And confession, confession is good for the soul, right?
NUMBER FIVE: BE KIND
As you ask for help, be kind. I love this quote on kindness that I found from Eric Hoffer, he's an American philosopher, and author. And he said,
"Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind."
How awesome is that, right? He had another quote on the same subject and he talked about the juxtaposition, the opposite of that. He said,
"Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength."
So let's be kind. As we ask for help, let's be kind.
Which also leads us to number six, which is be honoring,
NUMBER SIX: BE HONORING
So, as we think about who might we ask for help, maybe we need insight. Maybe we need perspective. Maybe we need experience. Maybe we need wisdom.
As you start to think about those people that may in fact, have some help for you, ask yourself, "Is this someone that makes their living from the area that I need help in?"
And if it is, that's okay. Offer to pay them.
Offer to pay them. Don't expect them to give it away. There's a good chance they have worked hard to learn the knowledge and the wisdom that they've achieved. So if they make their money from where you need help, then offer to pay them.
Here's a good rule of thumb. If you're tempted to send an email or a message asking to pick someone's brain, I just did air quotes. "Can I pick your brain?" ask yourself, does this person's job, does the work the way they make money, the way that they get paid, is it in relationship to the information I'm asking for? And if so, just offer to pay them for it.
Now some of you might be like, "But I don't have much money."
Okay. And that's just fine, right? And if you're in those shoes, say, "Hey, if you make money from this, I want to honor that. I don't have a lot of money right now, but I would love a little bit of time just to run the idea past you." Just even asking 15 minutes. But at the very least, maybe even offer to pay them for 15 minutes.
Now there's a good chance that they will say, "Now, let's meet." There's a lot of people that if in fact they make money from where you're needing help, they will have a way for you to get a little bit of that help without having to pay. I know for me, as I do my coaching sessions and work with coaching clients, I always do a complimentary session on the front end. Because I want people to know what it's like to work with me, and I want to get to know them, see if we're a good fit.
I know that Jamie Lieberman, as an example, she is an attorney that I've interviewed for Dream. Think. Do. I have sent countless entrepreneurs to her. She specializes in working with online entrepreneurs. Jamie Lieberman, as an attorney, she gets paid for this information. She will do an introductory session with someone, get to know them a little bit, spend some time with them to get to know what their needs are. And then to be able to offer a little bit of information and then obviously, if she can help in some way where she gets paid, then she'll walk you through that.
So that's something to be able to speak to that, to honor that. At the same time, if they don't make money from what it is you're asking for help on, still honor them. You might offer it to buy a cup of coffee, take them to lunch. Now I know in our current pandemic scenario, that's a little bit hard to do, or it might be somebody on the other side of the planet. You can still do it though.
I just recently was asked, "Hey, could I pick your brain?" It was somebody that had been a guest on Dream. Think. Do. I loved their story, all of that. And they said, "Hey, I'd love to buy you coffee." And I'm like, "Okay, well you live on the other side of the planet. How are we going to do that?" And he said, "Uber Eats, I will send you a cup of coffee over Uber Eats, and we can have a Zoom call." Now, it was awesome. It's one of those things where I didn't expect that, but that was honoring. And I did, I took him up on it, because you guys know I love coffee. And it's just a great way to be able to say, "Hey, I want to honor your time," right? So that's number six, honor them.
NUMBER SEVEN: KEEP IT SIMPLE
Letting people know, "Hey, I need your help," and be able to speak to it.
To be able to say, "Hey, I can keep this short." And also let them know you have no expectations. Don't expect anything, especially before you have that conversation.
But here's what I'd suggest is, when you do connect, just let them know what you're working on and then just see if it resonates with them. That's what I like to do, is the only expectation is a couple of minutes to let you know what I'm working on, and then let's just see if it resonates. And if it does, then we can talk about the possibilities of working together on it. And if it doesn't, no harm, no foul. I love you. We're all good, right? That's powerful.
Now I will point to an extra tip here. This comes from JT Fox and my conversation with JT in episode 41. You can check it out at www.Mitchmatthews.com/041. JT used this strategy to get his dream job. He worked his way through a company that was his dream company and met and connected with a number of people. And one of the questions he always asked at the end of these conversations, whether the person was able to help him or not, one of the questions he always asked was, "Hey, whether you can help or not, who would you suggest? Who else should I be talking with?" Powerful question. That's the golden question, right?
NUMBER EIGHT: BE GRATEFUL
Be grateful. Say thank you. Be a blessing, right? If that person says yes and they help you, wonderful. If that person says, "No, I don't have time," still be grateful. Say thank you, right? I always say, my goal is that when someone thinks of me, my hope is that I've done something to bless them, so a smile comes to their face. That may sound cheesy. I don't know, but that's a good rule of thumb. And it winds up helping you to be more of a blessing as you walk around. And that's never a bad thing, right? So those are some of the strategies that I want you to be able to think through.
But here's the thing. What I want to do is we're going to wrap up with two last questions. Those questions are, as you think about the things that we talked about today, the things that we covered today, let's just walk through them. Be ready for it to feel different, to be open, don't be selfish, be real, be kind, be honoring, keep it simple and be grateful.
LAST TWO QUESTIONS:
As you think about those things, going to leave you with two last questions.
The question are:
- What did you hear?
- What do you want to do as the result?
As I spoke, as I talked into your ear, as I whispered to you, what's something that stood out to you? What's something that's going to stick with you? And then to follow that up and say, what's something specific you're going to do with that information? What did you hear today, as you listened to this episode? And what's something specific, what's some small but significant action that you can take to move forward on that idea? All right. Those are the things I want to leave you with.
And I will say, as we wrap this up, this whole episode is about asking for help. So of course I want to ask you for help. You're a Dream. Think. Doer. We're in this together. So I've got some specific areas where I need help as well. So hopefully, it's okay. I'm going to ask. And that is hey, if you could help us out with the podcast, I would so love that. And that means that if you haven't left a review, wherever you listen to this podcast, please do. Every review counts. I read every review. It's a blessing. It helps us to grow the podcast. It helps us reach new people.
If you haven't already, hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. We've got more of these Dream Together Series coming your way. And also, please share this with a friend. If you know somebody that's working on something and they need that boost to go after the dream, to ask for help as they do, please share this with them, because that makes all the difference.
I can tell you that it's always amazing, it's always amazing when we get some help from a Dream. Think. Doer out there. I'm so grateful for you. And I'm so grateful that we're on this journey. I'm so grateful for your help along the way. And I'm so glad that we're in this together.
All right. So I will admit, I went a little over the 15 minutes. Hopefully you've got grace for me there, but I'm hoping that also something stuck with you today, because I know you're growing something. I know you're going after it. And as you do, you're going to need help. But know that as you ask for that help, there's a very good chance the person you ask for it, the people that you involve, they're going to be able to walk out some part of their dream as they do as well. So don't be selfish. Share that dream. Let's make it happen, all right?
Hey, I'll tell you what. We've got some more of this series. We've got some great interviews coming your way, so stay tuned for those. But until we connect again, keep bringing your awesome, because the world, it needs more of it. Talk soon.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!:
Leave a comment and let me know what’s something that stood out to you from these EIGHT? Just as importantly… what would you add to the list? I can’t wait to hear from you!
Jessica Zweig is an award-winning entrepreneur and the Founder and CEO of the SimplyBe Agency. It’s a premier personal branding firm based in Chicago but they’re serving clients across the globe. Jessica’s got an amazing story of going from being a theater major… to launching her own magazine… to growing it to be the largest online magazine for women in Chicago for 7 years running.
That experience lit a passion for digital marketing… AND she realized she was REALLY good at it. Plus… she also started to live by her mantra of BEING fully authentic. All of this set her apart… and led her to create SimplyBe.
We’re talking about her journey and what it takes to pursue your dreams, and do it in a way where you’re true to yourself! Let’s do this!
RESOURCES:
Jessica’s Book - “BE. A no BS guide to increasing your self-worth and net worth by simply being yourself” Click here
Jessica’s Instagram:www.instagram.com/jessicazweig
Jessica’s Website: www.jessicazweig.com
THE “DREAM TOGETHER” APP IS HERE!
That’s right! Our DREAM TOGETHER App is here!
The “Dream Together” app is designed to help you clarify your goals as well as connect with like-minded individuals so you can “dream together” to make those dreams (big or small) a reality!
So… HERE ARE THE STEPS:
STEP 1: Download the app.
- Find “Dream Together” for your Apple Device: HERE
- Find “Dream Together” for your Android Device: HERE
STEP 2: Sign up and enter the group code: dreamthinkdo
STEP 3: Be inspired by the dreams that are already there. Then… follow and encourage a dream or two!
STEP 4: Post at least one of your own dreams… and then invite friends to join you so you can DREAM TOGETHER!
Let’s do this!
MORE ABOUT JESSICA AND THIS EPISODE:
Jessica’s brand new bestselling book is called: “BE. A no-BS guide to increasing your self-worth and net worth by simply being yourself.”
Zweig’s work in defining personal brands has gained her some impressive awards, including being named one of Crain's Chicago's 2020 Most Notable Entrepreneurs, one of Inc.’s Top Digital Marketer to Watch, and she’s been named one of the Chicago Tribune’s Top 10 Entrepreneurs to Follow.
Zweig also received TWO Stevie Awards® of “Female Entrepreneur of the Year.”
Zweig is also the host of The SimplyBe. Podcast, one of the Top 20 Marketing podcasts on Apple Podcast. Guests of the show include NYT best-selling author Candace Bushnell, global peace ambassador Prem Rawat, and designer Rebecca Minkoff to name a few.
We’re going to be talking about the importance of giving yourself room to pursue dreams… and be authentic and true to yourself as you do.
MINUTE BY MINUTE:
- 0:02 What to expect today
- 1:36 Download the Dream Together App
- 2:49 Get to know Jessica
- 4:16 Conversation begins
- 5:55 How Jessica found the courage to go after her dreams
- 8:11 How Jessica kept herself going even in the hard times
- 12:09 Does fake it until you make it work?
- 16:22 Branding your dream
- 19:49 The different ways you can share your message
- 26:11 How Jessica lives and remains authentic
- 29:50 Wisdom of the week
- 31:07 Mitch’s biggest takeaways
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
What did you think of Jessica’s story? What stood out to you?
Drop a comment below… and let me know. I want to hear from YOU!
And hey… don’t forget! Join us on our DREAM TOGETHER app.
We’ve got Dream Think Doers who are dreaming together AND some are setting up their own “Dream Together” groups too.
The info is above or at: www.DreamTogether.co.
Lastly, if this episode resonated with you… please share it with a friend!
And as you do it… know I’m so grateful for YOU!
Keep bringing your awesome!
Welcome to our special “Dream Together” Q&A series. We’re going after the biggest questions we’ve received over our 15 years of BIG Dream Gatherings. That’s right. As we held these events around the country, we’d always wrap up with a Q&A with the audience.
That’s when we’d go after the biggest questions and the biggest challenges people face when moving forward on their dreams and goals.
In today’s episode, I’m going to offer some simple but powerful strategies to help you to get CLEAR and help you to get STARTED. So… let’s do this.
RESOURCES:
Episode 195: Shawn Askinosie: Finding Your Call and Feeding Your Soul: www.mitchmatthews.com/195
Episode 250: 3 Things I’ve learned from 250 Episodes of DREAM THINK DO (I talk about perfectionism in this one!) https://mitchmatthews.com/250/
Episode 262: Dan Grec: Finding Happiness Amid Chaos: https://mitchmatthews.com/262/
THE “DREAM TOGETHER” APP IS HERE!
That’s right! Our DREAM TOGETHER App is here!
The “Dream Together” app is designed to help you clarify your goals as well as connect with like-minded individuals so you can “dream together” to make those dreams (big or small) a reality!
So… HERE ARE THE STEPS:
STEP 1: Download the app.
- Find “Dream Together” for your Apple Device: HERE
- Find “Dream Together” for your Android Device: HERE
STEP 2: Sign up and enter the group code: dreamthinkdo
STEP 3: Be inspired by the dreams that are already there. Then… follow and encourage a dream or two!
STEP 4: Post at least one of your own dreams… and then invite friends to join you so you can DREAM TOGETHER!
Let’s do this!
MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Okay… so as we’ve held our BIG Dream Gatherings around the country over the last 15 years… we’d always try to include a Q&A session at the end.
Now… if you’re new to DREAM THINK DO… and you’re not familiar with what a BIG DREAM GATHERING is… the short version of the story is… these are fun… HIGHLY interactive events that we’d hold… that would bring people together in a room… anywhere from 30 to 800 people at a time… I’d kick it off with a talk… but then we’d have people write down some of their goals and dreams on sheets of paper… post them on the walls… and then we’d invite everyone to go around the room to look at each other's dreams and then write notes on the “dream sheets.”
People could offer encouragement… ideas… suggestions and offers to help.
Now… with the current season we’re in… we’ve created an APP called “Dream Together” to provide the same opportunity… to… well… dream together… but now instead of being in the same room… we can do it from our phones and dream with people around the world.
It’s pretty cool!
Well… as I was saying… when we’d hold our BIG DREAM GATHERINGS… we’d do a Q&A at the end to give people the chance to ask any questions about things that were holding them back.
And one of the biggest questions… one of the most common questions… that would almost ALWAYS come up was… “Which dream do I go after?”
It makes sense though… right? People would come to this event… and come up with a couple… all the way to sometimes 20… to 30… dreams.
STORY ABOUT IAN.
So… they get excited… but then their brain starts to spin because they’re thinking, “Great! Now that I have clarity on all these things I want to do… things I could do… where do I start? Which one should I go after first?”
And this is an important question for several reasons.
1. If you’re a perfectionist… this question can KILL your dreams before you even get started! You’re sooooooooo worried about starting out with the PERFECT choice… and doing it PERFECTLY… that you never start.
“Perfectionism is the mother of Procrastination.”
- Michael Hyatt
“The fastest way to break the cycle of
perfectionism is to give up the idea
of doing it perfectly and
instead embrace uncertainty and imperfection.”
- Arianna Huffington
Or as I like to say…
“Progress beats perfection.”
And…
“Let’s learn as we go!”
2. Another reason it’s a BIG question is… a lot of people are VERY busy… busy schedules… lots pulling at you… lots on your plate. You probably don’t have TONS and TONS of time… days and days… to just throw around. SO… you want to be smart with how you’re spending your time. Hey… you’re listening to DREAM THINK DO… so I’m betting you don’t want to waste a day of the time you’ve got on this rock. Am I right?
Those are 2 reasons… and there are many more. BUT… since we’re keeping this episode at 15 minutes… we’ll leave it at that.
So let’s get to those questions I promised you.
All right… maybe you’ve been using the DREAM TOGETHER app… and you’ve got a few dreams in mind… let’s help you decide on which one to go after next.
So… the first question I like to ask in this scenario is…
“Of all the dreams and goals you could go after… which might be the best in THIS season of your life?”
It’s a simple… but powerful question.
It’s all about thinking about your CURRENT SEASON… and then weighing out which dreams would be the best fit for you… right now?
And I think it is important to mention… that just because a dream isn’t right for “this season” of your life… it doesn’t mean that’s a bad dream… or a silly dream. It’s just not right for THIS season. So give yourself some grace and say, “It’s a good dream… it’s just not for right now.”
At the same time… a powerful follow up to our SEASON question can be:
“What might be a way to take a small but significant step towards one of my bigger dreams?”
I’ll give you a few examples.
You may have a big dream of traveling the globe… but right now… there’s a flippin’ pandemic… so it’s not physically possible… or maybe you’re in college and the funds just aren’t there quite yet… or… you’ve got little kids and you’re navigating a full house… so the thought of global travels lights you up… but then almost starts to feel soul crushing… because it might be a while.
Well… what if you gave yourself permission to run some experiments…
To run some drills.
To have some fun with it.
What if you gave yourself permission to take 15 minutes a few times a week… to plan a dream trip. To ask, “If I had the time… where would I go?”
Or… “How have people like me taken a trip like this?” And do some research.
Heck… we’ve even talked to people about this very thing on DREAM THINK DO.
People like Dan Grec… who got the idea to drive from Alaska to Argentina in a Jeep. He didn’t have the money or the vacation time when he got hit with the idea… but over 3 years… he just gave himself permission to do the research on how he MIGHT do it. And then gave himself permission to take mini-trips… to see if he even liked taking short road trips… to be sure he’d actually want to do a marathon trip like that. But as he kept experimenting… he kept falling deeper and deeper into more loooooooove with the dream. AND he kept finding more doors opening to make it possible. And the dream… the one that seemed IMPOSSIBLE when he started… became a reality. He drove from Alaska to Argentina… and then he drove AROUND Africa… and he continues on… and adventure travel and photography is now his day job. Just because he was willing to ask these two questions.
https://mitchmatthews.com/262/
Another example… might be… that you don’t LOVE your current job… and one of your big dreams is to find a job… or a career that you LOVE. BUT you’re not even sure what THAT dream career might be.
Well… maybe you can ask yourself…
“What might be some small but significant steps towards figuring this out?”
I’ll give you an example of this type of approach. In episode 195, I talked with Shawn Askinosie who had been a successful criminal defense lawyer… but he’d fallen out of love with it. So he started to give himself room to experiment with other types of types of work. As he did… he allowed himself to take night classes, watch TED talks, invite people he was curious about to coffee to hear more about what they did… and as he did that… he discovered an unknown passion for chocolate.
This journey eventually inspired him to start a bean-to-bar chocolate factory and he’s never looked back. And NOW… Askinosie Chocolate is a small batch, award-winning chocolate factory located in Springfield, Missouri.
They source 100% of their cocoa beans directly from farmers across the globe… and Shawn is active in helping to create sustainable farming in each area he partners with.
NOT ONLY THAT… but Askinosie Chocolate was recently named one of the 25 Best Small Companies in America by Forbes and Shawn himself was named by “O magazine,” and Oprah Winfrey as one of the 15 guys who is literally saving the world.
How cool is that?
But he found that passion… because he was willing to give himself permission to DREAM… to start small… to experiment… and to learn as he went.
His dream was to find his DREAM CAREER.
But he didn’t know what that was. So he asked a better question for THAT season.
“What might be some small but significant steps towards figuring this out?”
So… if you’ve been wrestling with the question: Which Dream should I go after right now?”
Some questions to ask yourself can be:
“Of all the dreams and goals you could go after…
which might be a good one in THIS season of your life?”
If the dream seems TOO big to pursue right now, you can ask:
“What might be a way to take some
small but significant step towards
one of my bigger dreams?”
And hey… if your dream feels pretty BROAD… like how Shawn wanted to find his next dream career, but he wasn’t sure what that might even be, you can ask:
“What might be some small but significant
steps towards figuring this out?”
And then… it’s all about giving yourself permission to START.
Keep taking those small but significant steps forward… and more clarity… will come. Not to mention some amazing experiences too!
It’s like Abraham Maslow once said,
“In any given moment we have two options:
To step FORWARD INTO GROWTH
or to step back into SAFETY.”
And hey… I don’t know about you… but I find the best moments in life tend to come when we’re growing.
Amen? Amen.
Let’s do this!
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!:
Let me know. Join the conversation at mitchmatthews.com/316. You’ll be able to grab the questions we talked about… you can check out the episodes and interviews I mentioned… plus you can grab the DREAM TOGETHER app too… if you haven’t.
Plus, leave a comment and let me know about one of those small but significant steps you’re going to take this week. I can’t wait to hear from you!
Also, know that we’re going after topics like… “How do you ask for help on your dream?” and “how to make space for your dreams” in this DREAM TOGETHER series. So be watching for those… and heck… leave a comment on subjects YOU would like me to go after!
Until then… do me a favor. Please leave a review for the podcast wherever you’re listening to it… and please share it with a friend. Because those are the ways we can work together to help the world to dream bigger… think better and do more of what we were all created to do!
Let’s do this!
Talk soon my friend!
EPISODE MINUTE BY MINUTE:
- 0:02 What to expect today
- 2:32 Download the Dream Together app
- 5:31 What dream should you focus on?
- 7:01 The underlying problem to today’s topic
- 8:23 Breaking up with perfectionism
- 10:20 What is the dream that makes sense for this season?
- 14:38 Getting clarity on what your dream is
- 17:48 How can you start today?
- 18:13 How to get more resources
We’re talking with Jamie Kern Lima! Jamie is the founder of IT Cosmetics. She and her husband Paulo started IT in their living room in 2008. Through a long road of overcoming the tough knocks and naysayers… they were able to build it into the #1 luxury makeup brand in the United States! Not only that but they were able to sell IT to L’Oréal for over a billion dollars… and… as they did…
Jamie became the first female CEO in L’Oréal’s 100+ year history. It’s an incredible story… that Jamie chronicles in her brand new book, “ “Believe It - How to go from underestimated to unstoppable!” We talk about the journey… but more importantly… we dig into the backstory of how she got clear on this dream… how she found ways to dump the doubt… and defy the naysayers… to do it her own way. It’s an inspiring and very raw conversation.
Plus... Jamie tells us a heartfelt story she doesn’t typically share about the specific and surprising “nudge” she got the first day she set foot in her brand new office! It shocked her… but also set her up for this next exciting chapter in her life. I loved this convo and I think you will too!
RESOURCES:
- Jamie Kern Lima’s Website: https://jamiekernlima.com
- Jamie’s book: Believe IT!: https://www.believeit.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JamieKernLimaPage
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamiekernlima
THE “DREAM TOGETHER” APP IS HERE!
That’s right! Our DREAM TOGETHER App is here!
The “Dream Together” app is designed to help you clarify your goals as well as connect with like-minded individuals so you can “dream together” to make those dreams (big or small) a reality!
So… HERE ARE THE STEPS:
STEP 1: Download the app.
- Find “Dream Together” for your Apple Device: HERE
- Find “Dream Together” for your Android Device: HERE
STEP 2: Sign up and enter the group code: dreamthinkdo
STEP 3: Be inspired by the dreams that are already there. Then… follow and encourage a dream or two!
STEP 4: Post at least one of your own dreams… and then invite friends to join you so you can DREAM TOGETHER!
Let’s do this!
MORE ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
Jamie Kern Lima didn’t grow up sitting at the “cool kids table.” She was dismissed because she didn’t look like what people told her she needed to look like. But… she’ll be the first to tell you that it was tough and felt like a “set back” at the time… but later she realized all of that was a “set up” for an amazing future.
That’s because when she and her husband Paulo started IT Cosmetics… they did it in a way that industry experts said would NEVER work. As a result, she was shut out. She was turned down. She was told “NO more times than she could count.
But they stayed with it. And as they did… they featured REAL women of REAL beauty in the REAL world. She pushed through and went from the underestimated… dismissed underdog… to become an unstoppable force for good that she is today.
MINUTE BY MINUTE:
- 0:02 What to expect today
- 2:31 Get to know Jaime
- 5:40 How Jaimes journey started
- 10:15 When Jaime’s business turned into a mission
- 12:24 The secret sauce to business
- 15:40 Finding courage to take the next step
- 19:08 The honest feedback that changed everything for Jaime
- 24:08 Lighting round questions from YOU!
- 24:34 What Jaime had to unlearn to achieve success
- 28:19 How Jaime stays true to herself
- 34:54 Mitch’s biggest takeaways
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
What did you think of Jamie’s story? Have you read the book? Are you enjoying it? What was a stand out story for you? Drop a comment below… and let me know. I’d love to hear from you!
If we’re going to achieve our 1 million dreams goal for the year… we need some help. And for me… one of the biggest places I go for help… is prayer. Over the years, prayer has brought me a sense of peace in tough times… it’s brought me clarity when I felt scattered… it’s brought me hope when I felt like I was down for the count… AND it’s brought me encouragement when I needed it. And that’s what I want for you too!
So that is what we’re talking about in today’s episode. If prayer is your jam… awesome. Or… if you’re curious about prayer… hang with me. I think this will help. BUT… if prayer is NOT your jam… or… worse yet… you’ve felt a little beat up… or judged… when it comes to the subject of Spirituality… or prayer… I’d really invite you to stay with me in this convo.
Trust me. I’m not trying to convince you that way of thinking is right… I just want to offer some stories, some strategies AND… specifically… I want to pray FOR you. See how you feel and then we’ll go from there. My hope is you’re going to be encouraged to keep moving forward as you go after your dreams and do more of what you were created to do! You with me? I hope so. Let’s do this.
RESOURCES:
We’ve talked a little about prayer before on DREAM THINK DO.
If you want to dig deeper on the subject… here are a few episodes:
“Surprised By Prayer” with Melissa Johnson-Matthews: www.mitchmatthews.com/207
The “We Agree to Pray” Project with Mitch Matthews: www.mitchmatthews.com/293
“We Agree to Pray” BONUS Episode with Hope Generation’s Ben Courson: www.mitchmatthews.com/285
“We Agree to Pray” BONUS Episode with Human Rights Advocate, Ashleigh Chapman: www.mitchmatthews.com/287
“We Agree to Pray” BONUS Episode with “TLC’s: Say YES to the Dress’” Lori Allen: www.mitchmatthews.com/289
“We Agree to Pray” Bonus Episode with Bestselling Author, Brant Menswar: www.mitchmatthews.com/291
“We Agree To Pray” Bonus Episode with Illusionist, Harris III: www.mtichmatthews.com/293
Mitch’s 6-Miracle Day Post: Click here
THE “DREAM TOGETHER” APP IS HERE!
That’s right! Our DREAM TOGETHER App is here!
The “Dream Together” app is designed to help you clarify your goals as well as connect with like-minded individuals so you can “dream together” to make those dreams (big or small) a reality!
So… HERE ARE THE STEPS:
STEP 1: Download the app.
- Find “Dream Together” for your Apple Device: HERE
- Find “Dream Together” for your Android Device: HERE
STEP 2: Sign up and enter the group code: dreamthinkdo
STEP 3: Be inspired by the dreams that are already there. Then… follow and encourage a dream or two!
STEP 4: Post at least one of your own dreams… and then invite friends to join you so you can DREAM TOGETHER!
Let’s do this!
MORE ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
I’m excited about this episode. In it… I want to show you a way where I get encouraged… where I get help… where I get bolstered… on those days where I’m excited and charged up… AND on those days where I’m sad… or tired… or feeling overwhelmed.
So this episode is extra special for me… because I’m going to get to tell some stories… and THEN… I’m going to get to pray for YOU… yes YOU. And I believe… that even though we’re not in the same room as I’m recording this… and as you’re listening to this… I believe that something amazing can happen… when we pray together.
So that’s it. This is not a debate. This is sure not me trying to prove myself right. This is just me… wanting to encourage you… in a way that I get encouraged.
To put some more tools in your tool box.
If this is new to you… I invite you to be open to it. If prayer is NOT new to you… I’d still invite you to be open to it… because it might sound a bit different than you’re used to… or I might point to a different version of the Bible than you’re used to..
But hang with me and see how you feel. See what resonates with you.
Now… if that’s STILL not your thing… no harm… no foul. I’d just invite you to jump to one of our other 313 episodes of Dream Think Do… and as you do that… know you’re loved and I’m sooooooooo glad that you’re here.
BUT… if you’re still with me… I think we’re going to have some fun.
And again… the game plan is to:
- get you a few stories
- share a favorite scripture
- I’m going to pray FOR you
- Then… offer you a short prayer that you can pray yourself… if you want to.
Sound good?
Cool… Let’s go for it!
QUOTES ON THE SUBJECT:
I like how Bono talks about his spiritual journey…
“For me… it is probably more accurate to say,
“I was really lost, I’m a little less so at the moment…
And then a little less and a little less again.
That to me is the spiritual life… it has slowly rebuilt me...
It has taken years though and it is not over yet.”
- Bono
BY the WAY… as I was doing my research for this episode I also found this quote:
“Dream up the kind of world you would want to live in.
THEN… dream out loud.”
- Bono
-----
“Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer
is too small to be made a burden.”
- Corrie Ten Boom -
Dutch Watchmaker,
Along with her family - helped
many Jewish families survive the Holocaust
______________________
“I remember my mother’s prayers and
they have always followed me.
They have clung to me all my life.”
- Abraham Lincoln
______________________
“Prayer is talking with God.
God knows your heart
and is not so concerned with your words
as He is with the attitude of your heart.”
- Josh McDowell
“BIBLICAL CREDIBILITY:”
We’re going to dive into some specific scripture.
There are TWO THINGS I’d love for you to hear:
- God LOVES us… God LOVES you.
- He wants you to live an AMAZING life (adventure).
Ephesians 3:14 - 21 - New Living Translation:
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.
19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. 20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. to God, who is
able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
The word we dig into is: perissos: “Exceedingly Abundantly Beyond…”
Here’s what it looks like in the Greek: click here
Here’s me getting my tattoo of the word (also… looking away so I don’t pass out because of the needle!) click here
A PRAYER FOR YOU!!!!
This is a prayer you can use… and/or adapt for yourself:
Lord… Thank you for loving me. Thank you that I don’t have to understand how that works to know it can be true.
Help me to walk with you and walk in your love today. Help me to LOVE others well today.
Help me to experience more of the life you want for me and help me spread that around too.
Help me to know that achievement is good but it has nothing to do with my worth… in your eyes.
You are amazing Lord.
You say I am priceless… that I am carefully and wonderfully made. Help me to remember that today… and help me to remind others of that they are too.
Help me to DO… BE… and Experience ALL you have for me today.
Help me to partner with you… to be loved by you… and to love my neighbor well… whomever that neighbor may be today.
Thanks!
Amen.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Okay… I hope you dig this. If you do… let me know. Drop a comment below. If you have questions OR an “amen,” let me know. And hey… if you don’t dig it… let me know too. I want to hear from YOU!
And hey… no matter what… join us on our DREAM TOGETHER app (details in the RESOURCES section above). We’ve got Dream Think Doers marching towards our million dreams goal and I want you there. The info is above or at: www.DreamTogether.co.
Cool? Cool.
Please share this episode with a friend who might need it… and when you do… tag me! I’d love to thank you personally. And know that I’ve got some awesome interviews coming your way… so stay tuned for those. But in the meantime… keep bringing your awesome!