Welcome to the fourth installment of a 4-part series called “The gift of being fully present.” During these episodes, we’ve been getting you powerful and practical strategies to help you to BE IN THE MOMENT and be FULLY PRESENT more often. With this episode, we’re going to get you a strategy that might seem counterintuitive to living more in the present… BUT… trust me… it’s going to help to infuse the here and now… with some joy, some hope and even some fun. And it’s something that’s going to be soooooooo important as we all march into 2021. It’s called “Intentional Anticipation” and I can’t wait to get it to you! #letsdothis
RESOURCES:
Episode Minute By Minute:
THE EPISODE - TRANSCRIPTION:
Okay… in episode 304… you may remember that we talked about something I call the “The Christmas Carol Method” of being in the moment.
We talked about questions about your past and questions about your present... to help you feel more gratitude and to help you to live more in the here and now.
Well… today we’re going to be talking about the future and something I call, “Intentional Anticipation.”
It’s a strategy that can build a sense of hope and excitement… and even joy… right here.
Right now.
Now… you might be saying… “Woah amigo, hold up!!! I thought we were talking about living more in the NOW… and being more present. Doesn’t thinking about the future move us out of that?”
And… if you’re asking that… you’re flippin’ brilliant.
Because yes… sometimes… thinking about the future… and all the things that are outside of our control… can… let’s be honest… start to freak us out.
In fact, I love a quote I recently heard from the late great Janice Joplin, she said,
“You can destroy your NOW,
by worrying about your tomorrow.”
Amen to THAT.
BUT… I want to be clear… that’s not what we’re doing.
What we’re talking about today is “Intentional Anticipation.”
And since this is DREAM THINK DO… we’re going to introduce you to the concept… get you some science to back it up… AND most importantly… show you how to use it in 15 minutes or less.
How does that sound?
Okay… cool… let’s do this!
Now… in January… we’re going to be getting you a few episodes that focus on the subject of happiness.
Not in some airy-fairy kind of way… but we’re going to be digging into the science and application of feeling happy… more often.
And… I can’t wait to get those episodes to you.
But… as we start to head that direction… I want to share a few things I’ve been learning there… and add them to our subject of being more present and living in the moment more.
So… one of the things I’ve been learning about as a key to having more happiness is the concept of “novelty.”
The idea… that although we like it when certain things stay the same… one of the things that brings a sense of happiness is a sense of novelty.
That sense that every so often… we get to experience something NEW.
Something out of the norm.
Something unusual.
It can be little things like…
Buying and wearing some new clothes. Or reading a new book.
Or… trying a food we haven’t tasted before or driving down a road we’ve never explored.
Or… things like...
Visiting a city we’ve never gone to before.
Meeting a new person and getting to know them.
Buying a new piece of technology… or a new toy.
Novelty.
Just think about it… and I’m betting you know exactly what I’m talking about.
That sense of NEWNESS can spark a sensation of joy and excitement.
And… just as importantly… ANTICIPATING something new can spark that feeling almost as much… if not more… joy and excitement… as the experience itself.
Heck, there’s a LOT of research to back this up.
In fact, it's called the Science of Anticipation.
Let me give you some examples:
There was one study published in the National Institutes of Health that looked at people who were getting ready to go on vacation.
It tracked them and their sense of self-perceived happiness before, during and after the trip… compared to a control group who didn’t take a trip at all.
One of the things that surprised researchers was that the highest levels of happiness seemed to occur leading up to the vacation… as opposed to during the trip… or post trip.
Maybe you can identify with that.
Seriously… think about vacations you’ve taken in the past.
Can you remember the excitement you felt leading up to the trip? The planning? The fun you had imagining visiting that one particular restaurant… or riding that one ride you’d heard so much about… or dipping your toes in that sand of that one beach a friend had told you about.
Ohhhhhhh yeah.
The anticipation.
I came across another example of this in the book, The Happiness Advantage. The author cites a study in which people who just thought about watching their favorite movies actually raised their endorphin levels by 27%.
He said researchers concluded that,
“Anticipating future rewards can actually light up
the pleasure centers in your brain
as much as the actual reward itself will.”
I bet you’ve experienced this too… right?
Just looking forward to something made you feel better.
It’s like how Dr. Alex Lickerman put it in his book The Undefeated Mind,
“Anticipating something pleasant seems to
have almost unequaled power to make our present glow.”
I bet you know exactly what these researchers are talking about.
I bet you’ve felt that anticipation of something new… and got some good mental juice out of it. Right?
It feels good.
And… the research suggests… we can do some things to intentionally harness that joy… and experience the joy… the fun… even the hope that comes from that anticipation… more often.
Especially IF we’re intentional about it.
Hence… our term: “Intentional Anticipation.
And I’m going to get you those strategies in just a second.
BUT before we go there… I HAVE to speak to a couple of things.
Let’s call them a couple of big ol’ elephants… or maybe… in 2020… better said, a couple of potential grizzly bears in the room.
Here’s the deal… I bet you’re tracking with me… BUT we have to deal with that big ol’ BUT that might be brewing deep down on the inside for you.
We have to admit that our ability to enjoy anticipation has truly taken a beating this year.
Can I get an amen?
There’s a good chance that if you’re listening to this… heck… if you’re breathing… you’ve had something BIG get postponed or canceled this year.
A trip. A big event. Something important.
A graduation. A dance. A wedding. A business event. A vacation. A conference.
Heck… we’ve got a lot of college students that listen to DREAM THINK DO… so there is a VERY good chance it’s impacted the way you’re doing college or even made it so you’re delaying college for the year.
Or… maybe you have young kiddos… and it’s a day by day thing on whether you’re going to be teaching MATH… SCIENCE… and SOCIAL STUDIES… WHILE also navigating your life and your career.
Or… maybe it’s the 17th hundredth zoom meeting… as opposed to being in the same room with people.
And… heck… even the holidays. Everything feels like it’s up in the air… and that it constantly has the potential of shifting on us.
So yeah… we’ve got to talk about THAT… right?
Because if we don’t… this all can seem pretty empty… and all rainbows and unicorns… as opposed to something you can REALLY use.
So… IF YOU ONLY HEAR THIS ONE THING… I would love for it to be this:
INTENTIONAL ANTICIPATION in THIS season means giving yourself permission to cherish and look forward to the small stuff.
Or… more accurately said… this might mean looking forward to things that we might have considered the “small stuff” in the past… but we’re realizing it’s the wildly BIG stuff.
I’ll give you an example.
Admittedly… this might be a bit dorky… but I think it will help.
If you’ve been listening to DREAM THINK DO for a while… you know my family is into movies.
It’s our jam.
And I don’t know how many opening night movies we’ve been to… but… seriously… if the Matthews clan was looking forward to a movie… there was a VERY good chance… we were there on opening night.
We did it for the excitement of it… the fun of it. Heck… I didn’t realize it at the time… it was for the anticipation and the novelty of it.
AND to be COMPLETELY honest… we wanted to make sure some major part of the movie or the big twist wasn’t ruined by some jackhole who put a spoiler out on social media.
It was always fun… BUT if I’m honest… it had started to become a bit of a “given” that’s what we’d do.
Heck, I’ll be the first to say we’d probably even started to take it for granted… and could almost be passe about it.
Well… as you can imagine… we haven’t been to an opening night movie premiere since March.
So when I heard Wonder Woman 1984 was going to open on Christmas night… I bought tickets that same day I heard about it.
And we’ve been looking forward to it ever since.
BUT… if I’m being fully honest… I have to admit that part of me that didn’t want to look forward to it… because so many different things have been canceled… or changed… or postponed this year.
So… I had to give myself PERMISSION to look forward to it.
And… as the research would suggest… I’ve been enjoying that sense of anticipation.
Yes… part of it feels like a risk… BUT… I’m allowing myself to enjoy it.
Now… in full disclosure… I have a backup plan… because in this scenario… if something happens and the movie theater gets shut down for COVID reasons… I’ll grab a subscription to HBO Max… because they’re premiering it on the same day!
By the way… although I really enjoyed the first one… I’m not a HUGE WonderWoman fan. BUT my wife is a HUGE Wonder Woman fan… and I’m a HUGE fan of my wife… so we’re doing it.
AND… we’re both allowing ourselves the chance to look forward to it.
Oh… and as a side note... I want to also say… that neither Wonder Woman 1984 or HBO Max are currently sponsors of the DREAM THINK DO podcast… but we ARE willing to discuss that with you… if you or someone you know… are connected to either. HA!!!
But seriously… deep down… I realized I had to give myself permission to LOOK FORWARD to something like this again.
I know it might be kind of a weird example… but can you relate?
Here’s another quick example.
Obviously… many of our family gatherings are looking WAY different.
Yours probably are too!
I have to admit… around Thanksgiving time… I was pretty GRUMPY about that.
But… as I started to understand this concept of INTENTIONAL ANTICIPATION… especially after THIS year… I started to realize the importance of permission.
That we have to give ourselves permission to… first... feel all the feels.
With this year… we need to give ourselves permission to feel the frustration… the weariness… the crabbiness… all of it.
But then… when we’re ready… to start to also give ourselves permission to look forward to some NEW things.
So… like I said… over Thanksgiving… I was still pretty grumpy about how different things needed to be.
But now… I’m giving myself permission to get creative with some of these NEW… and very hopefully… temporary ways of doing the holidays.
So… we’re going to do a bunch of things with our extended families… virtually… and I’m going to give myself permission to look forward to them and be in the moment as we do them.
And… I’m actually starting to feel the difference.
I’m starting to feel some hope… some joy… heck… even some fun… start to break through.
And hey… #realtalk… those feeling have been hard to come by this year.
And that’s what I want for YOU too.
THE STEPS:
So… if you’re tracking with me... let’s start to talk about some SPECIFIC steps to help us to harness the POWER of INTENTIONAL ANTICIPATION.
STEP 1: PERMISSION
So… INTENTIONAL ANTICIPATION starts with PERMISSION.
We have to give ourselves the permission to look forward to something again.
It’s so simple… and so important…
After that… the rest just flows.
STEP 2: Get SPECIFIC
Get specific with something you want to do or experience.
Now… since it’s 2020 and 2021… we need to keep things simple.
So, for this to work RIGHT NOW… these things most likely can’t be BIG things like… global travel… or big events involving thousands of people.
BUT they can be fun… and they can be important things.
AND... they can pull in some of that NOVELTY we were talking about earlier.
Some examples might be…
The key is to get specific.
STEP 3: PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR
Seriously… write it down.
Or put it on your google calendar.
Invite someone to do it with you… either virtually or in person.
And then…
STEP 4: ENJOY THE ANTICIPATION
Seriously.
Simply enjoy the anticipation.
That’s right.
Give yourself permission to enjoy looking forward to it.
And… give yourself permission to not have it have to be PERFECT to enjoy it when that THING comes.
Sound good?
I’ll give you one last example as we’re wrapping up.
As I said earlier… my family is kind of a “movie family.”
We enjoy watching them and our two sons write, direct and act in some.
AND… thanks to COVID… both sons are currently home and living with us.
Well... a while back… we were looking for some fun ways to mix things up… find some novelty… and… let’s be real… we were looking for something that couldn’t get canceled or postponed.
SO… we decided to challenge ourselves to EACH come up with a list of our 10 favorite movies.
Super simple.
By the way... this list… was not about how successful they were or their critical acclaim.
This list was all about the movie’s impact on US… and how much we enjoyed them.
Then… we set up a date to reveal the lists.
And… on that day… we all presented our lists to each other.
As we did… we each talked through our lists and why each movie was in our top ten.
It was a lot of fun.
But the best part… is that since then… we’ve been systematically… going through our lists to enjoy the movies together.
Each month we’ve been setting some time aside to watch a movie and then talk through it.
It’s been fun and although… I’ll be the first to say… that each movie we’ve watched hasn’t always been my favorite… we’ve had fun and we’ve learned a lot about each other!
So, I offer that… not as prescriptive but as descriptive of something you could do.
Maybe… for you… it’s not movies... maybe it’s board games.
Or… maybe it’s favorite sports ball memories… (Yeah… sorry… I’m just not much of a sports guy… but you get what I mean!)
Maybe it’s watching favorite youtube videos together.
Decide on something.
Put a date on the calendar… even if it’s tomorrow.
Enjoy the anticipation.
And then… BE in the moment… whether it goes EXACTLY as you planned… or not… enjoy it.
What do you think?
Are you in?
I hope so.
And one last thing.
I wanted to share why I think THIS episode might be the most important of our 4 part series.
I’ll TOTALLY admit that I didn’t realize this when we started… but it dawned on me as I was thinking through all of this.
It’s that… I really do think we’re going to need to heal up our ability and our willingness to look forward to stuff.
To anticipate GOOD stuff… and not just dread bad news… postponements and changed plans.
You know what I mean?
I think we’re going to have to work that “hope” muscle and the “anticipation” muscle a bit… because they’ve taken a bit of a beating this year.
Right?
That’s why I think THIS subject is so important.
But hey… if there ever was a time of year to talk about giving yourself permission to feel hope again… and to anticipate some good things... it seems like Christmas time is the PERFECT time to do that.
And hey… I know our DREAM THINK DO family is very diverse… and I know that not everyone who’s listening right now celebrates Christmas… but whether you do… or whether you don’t… I hope you know that I love you… and I’m so grateful we’re on this journey together!
And for those who do celebrate CHRISTMAS… I hope you have a wonderful… wonder-filled time!
And to everyone… I hope over this Holiday season… even though it may look very different than other years… I hope you can find specific things to look forward to… and then get to fully enjoy them… as you’re more fully present and more fully in the moment… as they come!
Cool?
Cool.
Okay… just a few last logistics… as we’re wrapping up.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Hit me up with your thoughts and comments below!
PLUS… please please please… share this episode.
If it resonated with you… please share it with others… because I really do think we’re going to need to be intentional about working our “hope” and our “anticipation” muscles… and it’s a whole lot more fun to get to do that together!
And lastly… know I’m going to be taking next few weeks off to be with my family.
So… we’ll skip a week or two and then we’ll be bringing you our next episode… episode 306… which is going to be awesome… and so much fun… in early January. And I can’t wait to get it to you!
But until then… until we connect again… keep bringing your awesome. Because the world… needs more of it!
Welcome to part 3 in our series called “The gift of being fully present.” It’s specifically designed to help you to live more fully in the PRESENT… especially during this wildly important time of year… AND… amid… one of the wildest years of all time. And whether you’ve caught the first two in the series or not… I think you’ll be glad you’re catching this one! Oh… and I’ll warn you… we’re going to have some fun… but we’re going to be getting real… and raw… with this one… but I think that’s CRITICAL… as we’re getting you real-world strategies that work!
RESOURCES:
QUESTIONS TO HELP WITH THE CHRISTMAS CAROL METHOD:
Sample “Past” Questions:
Sample “Present” Questions:
Sample “Future” Questions:
Episode Minute By Minute:
MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE: (The Transcript)
So… we’ve been talking strategies… and in many cases… we’ve been asking ourselves some simple but powerful questions… to help us to LIVE in the moment… more often… so we don’t miss out on the “good stuff” in life.
Which brings us to today’s strategy and it’s something I’m calling “The Christmas Carol Method.”
It’s something to help us stir up joy and gratitude in the here and now.
GRATITUDE IN THE HERE AND NOW:
So… if you’ve been a student of being fully present… and trying to live in the moment more often… you’ve heard about the power of gratitude.
Plus, in the past, we’ve talked about how gratitude can help the brain to release things like endorphins, dopamine and serotonin. Basically these things are your body’s natural antidepressants… and your body’s “feel good” hormones… which makes it MUCH easier to feel a sense of peace… and it makes it easier to FOCUS too.
Plus, it’s just good to walk around with more of a sense of gratitude.
So… obviously… tapping into gratitude is a core tool to helping us live a better life and to live in the moment more often too!
BUT… you might be asking,
“BUT… how do we get there?
And I mean… seriously… in a year like THIS?”
That IS a good question.
Enter… the “Christmas Carol Method.”
QUICK BACKGROUND ON THE “CHRISTMAS CAROL METHOD”
Okay… so you remember Charles Dickens’ The Christmas Carol. We’ve got ourEbenezer Scrooge who’s living the bah-hum-bug life and goes around being grumpy all the time.
Well… then he gets visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present and then of Christmas Future… and they whack him the gratitude stick and help him right his ways... to reveal one of the best Christmas Goose stories of all time.
Seriously… if you’ve ever watched one of the various versions of the movie… whether it’s the one with live action one with Patrick Stewart… or the animated one with Jim Carrey… or the Muppets version with Sir Michael Caine or even “Scrooged” with Bill Murray… the pay off is when Scrooge comes to his senses and chooses to live in the present… he chooses to be generous… and he chooses to be grateful for what he has. AND he lives in a freedom that has been eluding him his whole life. It’s awesome. And sooooooo powerful! Yeah… I love that story.
The reason why we need it… is because one of the central ways that people suggest moving into gratitude is broken. It can be flawed. Especially for a year like 2020. What am I talking about?
Well… if you look at most content written about stirring up gratitude… you will find that the person recommends asking yourself the question,
What can you be grateful for… right now?”
Now… that IS a good question to ask. And the person suggesting it is probably wanting you to think of something BIG or small… elaborate or simple… to help you feel grateful… in this very moment.
And THAT is a good thing. In fact, I agree with it… in most cases.
BUT… what about those times when you’re up against it? What about those times when you’ve been punched in the gut… and you’re hurting?
I can tell you… if you’re there… and someone tells you to stir up some gratitude by asking WHAT CAN YOU BE GRATEFUL FOR IN THIS MOMENT???”
I know my response might be, “I’m grateful I’ve got TWO middle fingers to flip you off with!”
Ha! Sorry… but it’s true. Right?
Here’s some of that #realtalk I was promising.
May I share a story with you from MY life to illustrate this point?
Well… a few weeks ago… and I can tell you EXACTLY which week it was because it was the week that episode 300 came out.
That was a major milestone for me. 5+ years of podcasting. Connecting with you guys. Growing a community of DREAM THINK DOers around the globe. And I was ready to celebrate!
Well… THAT week… we had an issue with some tech that helps to support the podcast. I won’t go into the details… but the short version of the story is… on THAT week… the very week we were set to celebrate 300 episodes… well… that tech broke.
And… as a result… we lost 80% of our subscribers.
Gonzo. Gone. On alllllll platforms. Just gone.
Now… we went to work to correct things and we were assured things would be corrected… but it might take a month… and when we pushed them… they admitted to saying there was a risk that the subscribers… might never come back.
Yeah… that would have been really tough news ANY week… but that it hit THAT week made it especially tough.
So… let’s be real.
I was trying to find ways to stay inspired… to stay on track… to keep it together… And I’ll tell you… that if someone would have come at me with a “What are you grateful for RIGHT NOW???” I would have lost it on them.
Amen?
I’m sorry… but I would have.
And heck… I even tried it. I had gotten hit hard… so knew I needed to get my head on straight. I needed to get it back together. But I just couldn’t muster an answer to the “What could I be grateful for in this moment?”
So… I leaned on this “Christmas Carol Method.”
I asked myself, “What’s something I could be grateful for from the past?”
As I asked that… I got hit with some good memories.
Gradually… not immediately… but gradually they started to come. And some of those even helped me to remember sometimes when we’d been hit before… and the getting back up wound up working… and in some cases… wound up being pretty rich experiences.
And as you can imagine… those memories… helped me to remember that God loves me… and that I’m never alone.
They helped me to remember my family and friends… people who came alongside me in the past.
It helped me to remember times when we’d gotten hit… and we got back up! And heck… sometimes those set backs wound up being set ups for some of the biggest breakthroughs!
You know what I’m talking about.
I needed that.
So yeah… if asking yourself the “What could I be grateful for right now” question is just too hard… too tender. Try using the “Christmas Carol Method” to go back to the past to muster up some gratitude there first.
I will say that once I did that… well it took a few sessions… but… once I did that… it was a lot easier to find some simple things to be grateful for in the moment.
Which also helped me to feel a little better about my future too.
Which… BY THE WAY… can be the last step with the Christmas Carol Method… and that’s to ask yourself the question,
“What are a few things I’m looking forward to in the future?”
BUT… hey… one of the things we’ll be talking about NEXT WEEK as we wrap up our 4 part series… is the POWER OF ANTICIPATION.
So… we won’t get into A LOT of thinking about the future… right now.
BUT… trust me, there’s a LOT of power in “intentional anticipation.”
But know… a strategy around asking some powerful questions about the future can really help too.
So… can you see why we call it the “Christmas Carol Method?”
We’re pulling in memories from the past, gratitude in the present and anticipation in the future… to help you to be MORE in the moment… right now.
Make sense?
Now… two quick follow up stories.
One… It’s been almost 4 weeks since episode 300 and our kick in the ol’ crotch of losing all those subscribers. It was humbling and tough… BUT these strategies… some prayer… my family… my team… AND YOU GUYS got me through it… and I’m VERY happy to announce that things are fixed and our subscribers are back!!! In fact… we had our second biggest download day in a year at the end of last week!
And I can tell you that I don’t wish that experience on ANYONE… but I’m soooooooo much more grateful for every one of you… now!!!
Speaking of that… if you haven’t subscribed… please do!!! We’d LOVE to have you… and I’ll be even more grateful for you… than I’ve ever been!!!
Two… as I was prepping for this episode… I realized that using the Christmas Carol Method has been something I’ve been doing… but I hadn’t really shared it with my family.
So… just for fun… I asked them if they’d be open to experimenting with me… and being DREAM THINK DO guinea pigs… AGAIN. (I always test stuff out on my family… Hey… anything to help YOU guys. HA!) But I walked them through the concept…
Well… we did it last night after putting up some Christmas decorations.
Boxes were everywhere. Ornament packaging was all over. Old news paper from protecting stuff was strewn all over the place… but we sat and talked.
Stories of old Christmases… favorite teachers who got us through tough times… tough experiences that made us tougher.
Now… it wasn’t as perfect as one of those Hallmark Christmas movies… but it was pretty darn close and I can say… it’ll be one of my favorite memories of 2020.
So, I wanted to encourage you to try out the Christmas Carol Method yourself… and invite someone else to do it with you.
Just see where it takes you!
And also… stay tuned for our 4th segment of this series next week! Like I said… we’re going to be diving into the concept of INTENTIONAL ANTICIPATION and having some fun with exploring how LOOKING FORWARD in the right way… can help us LIVE IN THE MOMENT more too!
So… hit subscribe… so you don’t miss it… AND until next time… keep bringing your awesome… because the world needs more of IT!
I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Comment and let me know how you use the “Christmas Carol Method!” Seriously… I can’t wait to hear from you.
Welcome to episode 303… and specifically… part two in our brand new series called “The gift of being fully present.” This series is specifically designed to help you to live more fully in the PRESENT. Because if we can fully live in the moment more often… THEN… we can soak up more of the good stuff. AND bring more of the good stuff into the world too. That means loving well... bringing excellence... and having more fun... even in 2020! It means taking action when and where we need to AND it also means resting… actually resting... and finding a sense of peace... once in a while too! I know… I know… it’s a big task… especially with the goal of keeping these episodes to under 15 minutes… but I think we’re up for the task. So… let’s get to this!
RESOURCES:
PART 1 of the Give the Gift of Being Fully Present: www.mitchmatthews.com/302
2 Minutes to Confidence. mitchmatthews.com/246
MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE: (The Transcript)
Okay… so last week… in episode 302… we talked about WHY we want to live more in the present… more in the here and now. Plus… in that last episode… we talked about starting with a simple experiment.
That was catching yourself sometimes and asking the question,
What am I doing... right now?
And then to take a deep breath as you do.
It’s a simple 2-step exercise… but I know it’s been a bit of a game-changer for me. How about you? How did it go?
Did you find yourself using the question to edge yourself back… ever so slightly... to the here and now? I heard from some of you.
In fact, long-time Canadian DREAM THINK DOer “Cathy B” let me know that when she was feeling on the verge of distraction and overwhelm… she used the exercise. One specific example she offered was… when it helped her to feel grateful for an email she’d just received from her daughter. It was a simple email… but it was about something Cathy‘s been dreaming about and working on for a while. She said the exercise of just pausing… and taking a deep breath… and coming back the moment… during such a simple thing as reading an email…
The question… and the deep breath… helped her to truly take in that moment and appreciate the email… and the effort that her daughter took to write it. She said it really warmed her heart… and made that moment even more special. She didn’t miss it.
How cool is that? Let me know how it went for you! I want to hear from you.
Okay… well… with THIS episode, I also promised to do three things:
SOME BRAIN SCIENCE TO LIVE MORE IN THE PRESENT:
Okay… so you guys know I’m fascinated with the brain.
I was a solid C+ science student in high school and college… but since then… I’ve just fallen in love with studying how our brain works… and how… if we understand those things… we can do things to dream bigger… think better and do more of what we were put on the planet to do.
Well… the brain is wonderfully and beautifully made… and there are soooooo many aspects to it… that we could talk for YEARS on all the different facets and aspects that are happening in our math cans as we’re working on living in the moment more…
BUT since we’re keeping things short and I want to get right to something that’s going to help you immediately… I want to really key in on TWO main areas of the brain.
THE TWO PARTS WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT TODAY ARE:
The basal ganglia and the prefrontal cortex.
Now… if you’re a big fan of talking about the brain… give me a fist pump in the air and say… “I’m all in.”
BUT if you’re not… hang with me because we’re going to explain things in a way where it will help you to be more present… AND you’ll be able to impress your friends at your next Zoom dinner party!
First… we’ll talk about the basal ganglia.
It’s what I call the brain’s “Project Manager.”
It’s the part of our brain that is constantly looking for patterns… systems… subconscious checklists… and you guessed it… habits.
It’s primary job is to try to figure out ways of doing things… so the brain doesn’t have to work as much.
Just like a good project manager, it loves to tell the rest of the brain, “Hey… relax… just do your thing. I’ve got this!”
For example… the basal ganglia is the part of your brain that allows you to hop in your car and drive to the store… BUT when you pull into the store’s parking lot… you catch yourself thinking, “Wow. I remember leaving my driveway… but I couldn’t tell you one other thing about that drive!”
I bet you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about… but here’s something you can do for fun… to really experience the full power of YOUR basal ganglia.
Here’s an experiment.
If you want to mess with your basal ganglia… if you want to “prove” to yourself that it’s there…
When you go to do your bedtime routine tonight… brush your teeth with the opposite hand you normally use.
Seriously… your BG will try to wrestle you to the ground because it’s saying, “BUT WAIT… THAT’S NOT HOW WE DO THINGS!!!”
Or… as you drive to the store next time… take a street you NEVER take.
Yes… it might add a total of 2 minutes to the trip… but do it.
YOUR inner-project manager will revolt… BUT this kind of exercise is REALLY good for you so you can feel your Basal Ganglia in action.
But this type of experiment is also really good because it REALLY helps to wake up the second part of the brain we’re going to talk about next.
And THAT is the PREFRONTAL CORTEX.
The Brain’s PFC is the brain’s BIG BOSS.
It’s designed to override a lot of the systems in the brain.
BUT like a good boss… in order to work it’s magic… it has to be engaged.
The basal ganglia is constantly looking for ways to say to the boss, “Don’t worry about a thing! I’ve got a system for that.”
Or… “Work on other stuff, I’ve got a process for that.”
Don’t get me wrong… the basal ganglia doesn’t have bad intentions.
It’s just looking for systems to make life easier.
HOWEVER… it’s just NOT always a good judge over whether those systems work.
Enter the “distraction habit.”
Think about it.
As you’ve probably seen in documentaries like “The Social Dilemma” or TED talks about how things like social media… or even… email can make our brains explode with dopamine and serotonin because of the sense of feedback… variety… and novelty.
Now, we’re not going to get into whether all of that is inherently good or bad… in THIS episode… but when you think about the little bit that we’ve talked about already… you can imagine that if the basal ganglia has figured out that IF we start to feel anxious, overwhelmed and / or uncomfortable… which is kind of the 2020 trifecta… it makes sense that the basal ganglia would say, “Don’t worry about it! I’ve got something that will make things better.”
And then move you to a “distraction habit.”
Because… it’s learned… when we move into the “distraction habit” of grabbing your phone… your brain receives a burst of dopamine and serotonin.
And just like how you get lost in thought on your drive to the store… and you wind up driving into that parking lot thinking, “How the heck did I get HERE???”
The same thing can happen when we grab our phone or hop on our computer to just check social for a second…
Maybe you’ve had the same experience where you’ve just found your phone in your hand… and your thumb is scrolling… and you find yourself saying, “I don’t even remember taking this thing out of my pocket.”
Or… “How long have I been doing this?”
I won’t say who… but someone recently totally confessed that they thought they had a toilet ring permanently tattooed to their butt… because they’d gotten so caught up in social… while “taking a break,” they spent an hour in the bathroom… and could barely walk when they went to stand up. I know… nasty. LOL. BUT maybe you can identify!
So here’s the thing.
The basal ganglia is neither good nor bad inherently… BUT it is a creature of habit. Actually, it’s a CREATOR of habit.
So we need to be intentional about the habits we’re walking out.
The good news is that the prefrontal cortex can TOTALLY override the basal ganglia… and one of the best ways to do that is through a good question. Because a question engages the Prefrontal Cortex… it brings it into the mix. It steps in and says, “Wait… what are we doing? And… just as importantly... WHY are we doing it?
Makes sense… right? And that’s exactly why we experimented with our first question last week! And why we’re going to introduce a NEW question this week.
So… our question for this week is:
“What do I want to do right now... intentionally?”
Oh… You can still take that deep breath after asking it… and that’s good!
But with this question… I want you to take an action that helps your body to get on board. Move in some way.
Snap your fingers.
Clap your hands.
Raise a fist pump in the air.
Take some action… big or small.
If you’ve ever heard Tony Robbins talk about this kind of movement… you could say that this kind of thing would allow to have a “STATE CHANGE.”
By the way… if you want to learn more about this and the science behind how THIS type of thing works… check out episode 246 called “2 minutes to confidence. mitchmatthews.com/246
It will make a difference.
Okay… so let’s recap.
So here’s the specific experiment for this week.
If you feel distracted or you want to feel more in the moment:
Ask the question.
“What do I want to do right now... intentionally?”
That’s right. Engage the prefrontal cortex.
Ask yourself what YOU ACTUALLY want to be doing.
Last quick example:
I’ll say I used this just this past weekend.
I had a lot of stuff I could be working on… and I was starting to go there as I was at the dinner table with my family. I started to drift to all the stuff I COULD be doing or I SHOULD be doing… but I asked the question,
“What do I want to do right now... intentionally?”
And it brought me back to an amazing conversation about how The Madolorian is one of the best… if not the best TV show of all time.
Priceless.
Loved it.
I didn’t miss the moment… and I’m soooo grateful.
And that’s what I want for YOU too… THIS WEEK!!!
It’s like that awesome quote from Jim Elliot…
“Wherever you are, be ALL there.”
Try it out.
And just see what it does for you.
It may not be easy.
Heck… your basal ganglia may resist it at first.
BUT… as you do it… your basal ganglia will start to come around and start to set up NEW patterns and sequences.
So being IN the moment… and being more present… becomes your NEW go-to habit too!
Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
EPISODE MINUTE BY MINUTE
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Let me know how the experiments are going for YOU! Leave a comment about something that’s worked for you or let me know where and how you’ve experimented with the questions. I can’t wait to hear from YOU!!!
Until next time… keep bringing your awesome!!!
I’m Mitch Matthews and this episode is kicking off a 4 part series called, “The gift of being fully present.” These will be four short episodes… all under 15 minutes… specifically designed to help you to live more fully in the PRESENT during this holiday season. It is so important… especially THIS year. I mean… seriously… with 2020… it would be soooooo easy to be caught up in the past… of visions of what could have been. And with all the potential questions about the future… we could get buried in the worries and anxiousness of what could be around the corner for 2021 and beyond! But as you know… if you’re a DREAM THINK DOER… I believe that although this year has been a wild ride… I believe the people who are INTENTIONAL with their thoughts… as well as their habits and their resulting actions… we can even make a year like 2020… an amazing year! More importantly… if we do this right… we can fully live in the moment and soak up incredible experiences over this holiday season. That means loving well, bringing excellence, having fun, taking action as well as resting and finding a sense of peace… even amid all the craziness of this year! Plus… I think if we get our thought life right… we can make 2021 our best year yet… no matter what kind of curve balls get thrown our way. I know… it’s a tall order… especially with the goal of keeping each episode under 15 minutes… but we’re going to do it… AND we’re going to have some fun as we do this thing too. So let’s get to this!
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
But let’s talk about being present… fully present. Being fully IN THE MOMENT. We know this is important. Heck… this is something that’s been written about... talked about… and encouraged for centuries!
Here are some examples:
“Children have neither a past nor a future.
Thus they enjoy the present, which seldom happens to us.”
- Jean de La Bruyère
“Live in the present, launch yourself on every wave,
find eternity in each moment.”
- Henry David Thoreau
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow,
so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.”
- Dalai Lama
“Be happy in the moment, that’s enough.
Each moment is all we need, not more.” - Mother Teresa
Scripture:
Philippians 4:6-7
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.
Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.”
“Wherever you are, be all there.” -Jim Elliot
So… yes… being fully present has been talked about for a very long time… and that makes sense… right? Because when we’re able to achieve it… life is richer.
We’ve all had those moments of being FULLY PRESENT. Maybe it was intentional. Maybe it was the result of really working hard to be IN THE MOMENT… and you were able to have this amazing conversation with a friend. Or maybe it was because of an event. Maybe it was a vacation… or a tough life experience… and you found yourself caught up in the jaw dropping beauty of a sunrise… or the simple beauty of changing leaves on a tree. Or… a holiday… when you had one of those moments that you cherish… not because it was Hallmark Christmas Movie perfect… but because it was messy… and unorganized… but you were able to connect with someone and it was something you’ll never forget.
But it’s those moments that can be amazing!
Now… in our NEXT episode, we’re going to cover some quick brain science to talk about two competing components of your brain that are fighting FOR and AGAINST you living in the moment… and more importantly… we’ll learn a specific strategy for winning that battle. BUT for this episode… I’m going to give you a question.
This simple question has been a game-changer for me as of late.
The question is…
“What am I doing… right now?”
Okay… okay… I’m guessing that might feel a little underwhelming… but stick with me. Here’s a story… to help set up the question. A few months ago… I was walking down some stairs and I almost tripped and fell. Not because there was something on the stairs. Not because there was a puddle of water that I slipped on… Not because someone pushed me. Nope. I almost fell… because I was walking down the stairs AND checking my email on my phone.
Yeah… at the same time.
Now… I’m grateful to say I didn’t get hurt and luckily no one was around to see it happen. But that was a serious wake-up call.
I had a problem. I mean… I’m busy and my schedule is full… but somehow I’d convinced myself that checking my email was as important as walking down a flight of stairs. Hello? In what world does that make sense? And hey… we’re all about being real here… so I’m guessing you know exactly what I’m talking about. Whether it’s checking email while on a staircase, or… checking texts while you’re in a meeting… or… checking your social media feed in the weirdest places like the bathroom or in the kitchen when you’re with your family or friends.
This isn’t new… and, I’m not saying that email is bad… or texting is bad… or social media is bad… in and of itself. BUT when it pulls us away from what we WANT and… or… what we NEED to be doing… it’s something we need to get intentional about.
So... with this episode… I just wanted to get you this question to experiment with.
The question is…
“What am I doing… right now?”
I’ve started to use this to just draw me back to the moment.
I started with my phone. Yeah… I started with those moments where I was tempted to grab my phone… or heck… when I was just getting started with this process… I would just find my phone in my hand… not even remembering I’d grabbed it. That’s when I would stop and ask myself, “What am I doing… right now?” That simple question helps you to bring your thoughts back… and to intentionally choose to overcome something we’ll call the “Distraction Habit.”
By the way, we’ll talk more about that “Distraction Habit” in the next episode too! So get ready. But for now… just experiment.
Let’s get specific. Here’s the experiment.
STEP 1: When you catch yourself reaching for your phone
STEP 2: ASK THE QUESTION: “What am I doing… right now?”
STEP 3: THEN… follow up a simple deep breath in… and a deep breath out.
Let’s see what happens with using that simple little question to bring you back to your present moment.
The goal is not necessarily massive change… but the goal is to start to be intentional about grabbing a hold of specific moments in time. Moments that might have been lost otherwise.
“What am I doing… right now?” Ask it. Breath. And just see where it takes you.
I can’t wait to hear from you.
EPISODE MINUTE BY MINUTE
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Let me know how the experiment goes.
Hit me up on social media… or leave a comment below. Let me know what happens as you start to catch yourself and ask that simple but powerful question.
Oh… and since we’re diving into this subject of the GIFT OF BEING FULLY PRESENT all month… comment and let me know some of your favorite strategies for being fully present and in the moment too!
If I use your idea… I’ll be sure to give you a shout out in the episode!
Lastly, be sure to invite your friends and family to join us for the series. Let’s share the love and help more people to live in the moment too! I can’t wait to see where this takes us!